Friday, October 28, 2011

Its a four letter word, beginning with F and ending with K

Of course your twisted mind thought of the word fuck. I simply meant fork.
That's what bothers me you know, the history and evolution of this word, giving it so much importance. The second you put a taboo on anything, its in human nature to begin to pry further.
Who even deemed this so called slang foul word to be the mother of all evil grammar? When did its use on the dinner table become the reason for punishment and when in GOD'S name did it become a mandatory exclamation during good sex?!
From a bad word to the most used one in the english dictionary, this word has come a long way. We use it in almost everything and god forbid if you get caught using it on live TV, twitter would have a field day. Just to spite conformity, when I have a child of my own, I shall name (say) him, FUCK.  Why not? It only means the pleasurable act of procreation right? Did sex ever become a taboo word? No, it didn't, because if it did, forms of all kinds would need serious revamping ( ***: male/female) and sociology books would need to get burned (*** roles and ***ists).
Coming back to my master plan of naming my child fuck,I not only will implement that, but I will insist on marrying a chinese man with the last name Yu. It would be thrilling for me to openly yell out the most hated word of all time in formal situations. Say, at my kids sports day. As he's just about to reach that finish line I'd proudly yell out "goooooo fuck!!!!"
Or whenever my child first interacts with someone, he'd get the automatic privilege of saying "fuck yu" when asked what his name was.
As I reach the end of my article, it did dawn on me the amount my poor fictitious child would be at the receiving end of some hardcore bullying. I guess ill never have my dream come true. Although, food for thought, when and why did fuck become such a big deal?

"Fuck Yu time for bed!"

Monday, October 3, 2011

I see dead people.

God no. If i were actually seeing dead people i'd have some serious issues.
So im playing the role of a delusional psycho who has the cotard syndrome, which practically means i believe i'm dead when im really alive. Very similar to my state right now, considering a lot is warped in my life but thankgod for Masterchef Australia. Im sorry for the jump in topic, my ADHD has started to come back in a creepy way, damn those doctors who said i was cured.
So, ADHD, can NEVER, and i mean NEVER be cured. I cant pay attention to a single thing or person for more than 30 seconds, ill start looking at the persons hair or evesdropping on the conversation between the cow and the crow across the street. I cant sit in one place without the incessant need to shake at least one body part constantly to the extent of exgerragted movement. I cant stick to one TV channel now and sit through an entire ad without flipping channels, and that SUCKS considering im aspiring to be a copywriter.
The new coldplay album is shitty
REM has split
Lewis Caroll was a perv
Coleridge was a charsi.

I need focus.

I see dead people, one of them is Ms.Havisham.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Baby Boom.

Nah, no ones popping out any babies, dont worry. It isint our time yet.
Im referring to the month of September, where almost ALL my friends and I turn 21 or just turn something.
The amount of birthdays this month is baffling yet reasonably understood considering half our parents got married in either Nov/Dec, so you do the math really.
Needless to say, the amount of alcohol consumption this month is beyond human understanding, the fishes would develop a complex if they saw the amount people have been drinking this month. Happy birthday to my bestie Arianna who is considerably tall for an average Indian and ridiculously white for her own good.

Anyone watched the Emmys? Rightly said, it did feel like the Modern Family awards in a race against the Good Wife awards towards the end of it. Poor John Hamm, i was really rooting for him to bag the lead actor emmy. Guess he can silently go back to drinking scotch while screwing a pretty thing dressed in garters and puffed sleeves. Kudos to Jane Lynch, who is one of the funniest women to have graced the silver screen after Ellen,Tina and Amy! (Someone actually told me you have to be a lesbian to be funny and that almost made me want to imprint my spider ring's silhouette into their skull).
Thats it for now, i have really important things to do today, like clean bird shit from my windowsill and yell at the dog that parks its rear outside my door.
Keep it outlandish.
Thats Ari-Anna, the next best thing to Hazare, except that you know she doesnt look like a pug and the last thing she'd think of is fasting.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Here, there, everywhere.

What started off to be a blog solely dedicated to music, has now morphed into an outlet for my capsized emotions and everyday musings. Ruchi Shah, you're responsible for reviving my love for blogging (visit her blog at for a dose of blatant wit).
Since i am updating this obsolete blog after exactly a year, i promise to keep throwing at you'll a fairly large amount of music enveloped in my sour and cynical outlook of the world.
Just yesterday i was walking home with my mother from a Ganpati darshan, and i happened to see the strangest, funniest and most intriguing sight ever. A 60 year old man weeping at the thought of his Ganesha idol leaving his house today. I do understand a certain level of attachment one creates with a statue sitting in your house for over a week, i really do, reminds me of the time i befriended a moth as a kid and it sort of just grew on me, literally. (Im obviously kidding). This man was weeping with tears exploding out of his eyes and i genuinely thought he lost a child at the tone and pitch of his cry. Apart from being really amused it made me realize that we live in a country filled with a variety of personalities, and i love that about us, except for when you're a paan eater and prefer to turn my foot into your dustbin, not cool.
Until next post, keep it outlandish and please dont stick chewing gum under desks, the dustbins feel left out.

ps- You have to check out the band "Young the Giant", really good new act.